Peekaboo, Trust, and Tiny Goodbyes

How a Simple Game Helps Prevent Separation Anxiety

If you've ever crouched behind a blanket, popped out with a cheerful "peekaboo!" and watched your baby burst into giggles, you’ve done far more than entertain—you’ve helped lay the foundation for emotional security and developmental growth.

Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist and parenting expert, explains that games like peekaboo are crucial tools in building a child’s understanding of object permanence—a fancy term for knowing that people and things still exist, even when they're out of sight. But beyond brain development, peekaboo also fosters something deeper: trust.

Peekaboo Builds Trust and Less Tears When it's Time to Say Goodbye

What Is Object Permanence?

Object permanence is one of the first cognitive milestones infants reach, typically around 4 to 7 months of age. Before that, if something—or someone—disappears from view, a baby might think it's gone for good. That’s why a baby might cry when a parent leaves the room or even just turns their back. They don’t yet understand that you’ll return.

Peekaboo helps bridge this understanding. Each time you disappear behind your hands or a blanket, then reappear with a smile, your child gets to practice the idea that you're still there, even if they can't see you. Repetition of this simple exchange strengthens their sense of predictability and safety.

How Peekaboo Builds Trust

When you consistently play peekaboo, you send a subtle but powerful message: “I might be out of sight for a moment, but I always come back.” This teaches your child to expect your return, which becomes internalized over time. In essence, peekaboo becomes one of their first experiences of trust and emotional resilience.

As Dr. Pressman emphasizes, the predictability of this back-and-forth game helps children understand that separations are not only temporary but safe. This trust becomes a cornerstone of secure attachment—a key buffer against separation anxiety and other relational stressors later in childhood.

Reducing the Risk of Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development, often peaking between 9 and 18 months. While it’s a sign that your child is forming strong attachments, it can be distressing for both children and parents.

Peekaboo and other predictable games act as emotional "rehearsals" for short-term goodbyes. The laughter and joy wrapped into the game allow your child to practice being apart from you in a way that feels safe and even fun. Over time, this familiarity reduces panic when real separations occur—like daycare drop-offs or bedtime transitions.

Through play therapy, the child can work through internal fears and rebuild emotional confidence.

When Games Aren’t Enough: The Role of Play Therapy

For some children, especially those who’ve experienced early stress, trauma, or prolonged separations, the natural development of trust may be disrupted. This is where play therapy with a Registered Play Therapist (RPT) can be profoundly helpful.

In play therapy, a child engages in guided, expressive play that gives them space to explore emotions and practice relationship repair in a safe, consistent environment. The therapist becomes a trusted figure who helps the child revisit themes of separation, connection, and reunion—reintegrating the concept that a loved one can leave and still return.

Through symbolic play (like hiding and reappearing dolls, roleplay, or drawing out emotions), the child can work through internal fears and rebuild emotional confidence. This process mirrors the psychological foundation of peekaboo—but tailored to the child’s developmental and emotional needs.

Parents are often invited to participate in certain sessions or receive feedback so they can continue reinforcing trust and emotional safety at home.

Simple Ways to Reinforce These Lessons at Home

• Play daily: Regular peekaboo or hide-and-seek games build consistent trust.

• Narrate goodbyes: Say things like, “Mommy’s going to the kitchen, I’ll be right back,” to support language and understanding.

• Keep routines predictable: Predictability fosters safety.

• Build in small separations: Start with leaving the room briefly and returning to reinforce that you always come back.

• Seek support when needed: If separation anxiety is intense or persistent, connecting with a play therapist can make a lasting difference.

Making playful connections in early development reduces anxiety when a parent is absence later on.

Final Thoughts

What looks like a silly game is actually a powerful developmental tool. Peekaboo teaches more than object permanence—it communicates presence, dependability, and love. When parents show up again and again, so even in play, it builds a bridge of trust that supports children through the very real challenge of separation.

And when that bridge needs reinforcing, registered play therapists can step in to help children rediscover what it means to feel safe, seen, and securely connected—even when loved ones step away for a little while. Karen Poynor, LPC, NCC, RPT is our trusted and skilled nationally registered play therapist at Renewed Journey Counseling Services, LLC.